What We Have Been Up To

So, I haven't been blogging or even commenting much.  We just have been busy.  Three kids plus work kept me going this summer.  And then there is part of me that wonders how much I want to be "public" about our lives.  Anyone could read this blog, and if I have too much up here, I wonder if there would be risks...  So, I have been more careful about what I post online anywhere - including FB too.

As for what we have been up to, AJU7 turned one last week.  She is growing fast.  She can stand on her own and take some steps.  But, she still crawls most of the time.  She has mastered the stairs (up and down), which is really nice.  That means I no longer have to run to the top of the stairs when she wants down.  But, on a related note, she can climb so easily these days.  She is getting into chairs, climbing ladders, and even climbing onto the tricycle we have outside.  This means I have to keep and eye on her, especially when we aren't home where things are safer. 

AJU6 is definitely boy.  He is slowly gaining more and more speech - starting to talk in sentences, etc.  Unfortunately he is also a great mimick of AJU5 - copying all of her bad behaviour.  Luckily he also has a very sweet side that comes out when he wants it.

AJU5 has started kindergarten homeschool.  We have gotten to some longer lessons, which she doesn't love.  But, the reward of getting to play PBSKids when she is done works.  She has to get it done before the other two wake from their nap, so she normally is willing to push through her work.  Her phonics lessons are often 6 pages (3 pieces of paper front and back), and then we do 4-6 pages of arithmetic most days too.  We will add in science and history a little later, once she has become used to all of the work 3-5 days week.

As for me, I am keeping busy with scrapbooking as well as work and the kids.  I got 2-3 layouts done on average each week this summer.  It is my way to unwind and do something for myself most days/weeks.  Other than the Olympics and 1-2 shows a week with my husband, I don't watch TV.  And I haven't read any books (other than the Bible which I am reading on a 1 year through the Bible plan) since last summer.  So, scrapbooking is the main "entertainment" in my life these days.  I am on leadership for my MOPS group this year and I did coordinate our church's VBS, so I guess those take up some of my time too...

Well, I think that is about it. Hopefully I will get at least one post in a month for a while...

Maternity Leave

So, recently on Facebook, a few companies I "like" posted a graphic of maternity leave by country around the world.  The graphic was for the amount of paid leave the government mandated for workers going on maternity leave.  And of course the US is at the bottom. 

Here is the deal though - the US does have provisions for at least 6 weeks of paid leave, but the graphic said 0.  The reason - the mom has to elect to get short term disability insurance.  But, from what I read online, it is available in all states.  And the requirements for that are basically the same as the requirement in Canada (which was at the top of the graphic).  Others were also saying some other countries weren't reported correctly either.

The topic quickly went to how Canada's program is family friendly.  And I am not so sure it is.  I really wonder if having 50 weeks of paid leave (55% pay normally) promotes women going back to work after 1 year.  It might help those moms stay home for that first year, but I bet it also makes them feel like less of a woman if they don't go back after the year. 

Do I think the US has room to improve?  Yes.  I think the FMLA provisions should be changed some.  I think all women should get 6 weeks of job protection after a birth.  Then, I think the length of protection should be proportional to the size of company the person works for.  If you work for a really large company that can easily absorb your work for up to a year, then I think they should have to give you at least 1 year of job protection.  If youw ork for a very small company, then 6 weeks seems to be fine. 

I also think that there should be options in the short term disability to allow you to pay more for more benefits.  It would be nice if there was a way to pay in to have 12 week and then maybe 24 weeks of pay.  Again, it would be the employee's option to get the insurance, etc, but it would be an option.  Employers would have the option have subsidizing the insurance and/or providing additional benefits as well.

Why don't I think the US government should get involved?  Well, let's look at our Social Security system and how well it is working.  From what Canadians say, their system is funded the same way.  And well, the US government hasn't done a good job with SS, so I don't think I would trust them with anything else.  Also, I don't think it should be mandatory.  Some people just don't want/need the insurance.  That is their right I think.  We didn't have any, but we also planned our careers so that I could work from home after AJU5 was born.  Before we even got married, my husband was set on finding a job that would support our family on his income alone.  So, there wasn't a need for us to have the extra pay.

What do you think?

Brand/Company Loyalty

I am struggling with whether to be loyal to one company that I have loved (and referred people to) because of some recent changes in how they run.  I know some people love their new business model.  But, it isn't for me.  The new business model is a move away from what I fell in love with.  But, without this company, I wouldn't have found the other companies or been in the market for more "things."  This company also has a Faceb00k page.  The page used to be a spot of friendship and camaraderie over a shared love for the company and the type of business they are in.  Between Faceb00k going to Timeline for pages, a little spat amongst some of those people, and the change in the business model dividing everyone, it isn't a fun place anymore.  So, I have taken a step back and am going to spend some time thinking about things.  I don't need to buy anything for a while anyways, so it doesn't hurt to take some time to think. 

I have seen this happen with other companies in the past too.  It isn't a new thing.  But, it is the first time it has really affected me.  Most of the other things i wasn't "in love" with.  So, it was easy to make a decision as to which side to fall.  Other times I was a complete on-looker, as it wasn't a company I even "used."  But this one is harder for me for sure.  I have made some great friends through this company, and I know they will be friends either way.  But, other people I thought were my friends have turned out to not be.  At one time, we were all in a "group" in Faceb00k, and that group had over 100 members.  Now, there are less than 80.  And most of the 20 that left were the ones that were "regulars."  There are probably 30-50 of those still around that only lurk, that I don't know too well.  But of the 20 that left, there are only a few I still would call friends.  The others, well, let's just say for the most part they have decided to not continue a friendship with me.  And as a result, I think those feelings have made me a tiny bit sour to the company that bonded us in the first place...

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On to happier things - here are a few updates on the AJU's:

• AJU5 recently finished her second year of AWANA Cubbies.  She is very excited to be a Spark next year - which means a red vest and the chance to build a pinewood derby car.
• AJU7 is VERY mobile on all fours now.  She can completely navigate our downstairs, which involves three levels.  She can also climb a complete flight of stairs with no problem (as she does it a few times a day).
• AJU6 is a train and car lover!  He carries a supply around with him, often too many to keep in his arms actually.  Most nights he has to line up at least 4 of them on his headboard before bed.
• All three kids seem to have a decent routine down.  AJU7 goes to bed between 6:30 and 7 each night, and the big kids go to bed between 7:15 and 8.  The big kids are up each morning around 6, and AJU7 sometimes sleeps until 7.  AJU7 also wakes 2-4 times a night still, which I am not surprised by one bit!  AJU7 naps around 9 in the morning and around 1 in the afternoon.  AJU6 "joins" her int he nap in the afternoon, going down sometime between 1 and 2 most days.

Tidbits and Such

1. AJU5 is not really aware of what "racing" really means. Recently at Cubbies they were having races, and she was happily running where she should without a bit of urgency. I don't mind it really - it means she isn't super competitive and likes to just play along. But, it is funny to watch when she has no clue she should be trying to beat the others!

2. AJU6 is SLOWLY potty training. Part of me wants to push it and get him trained, but part of me doesn't want to. The whole needing to go potty in a store is a PAIN with a younger child in tow as well. So, it is easier for him to be in diapers for that reason. But I am tired of changing his diapers. Oh, and I am not sure how his pants will stay up when he is out of diapers... some of his 24M shorts are already falling off even with a very fluffy (cloth diaper) rear.

3. I hate trying to get out of the house with 3 kids these days. The biggest issue is finding a time when the older two won't fall asleep in the car. We still go lots of places. But, I just don't like the "stress" of finding a time to go. Luckily some things are scheduled so the time is already set. The biggest downside of AJU6 falling asleep in the car is that he doesn't transfer well. So, that means the car nap is often all he gets (which isn't enough). It also means there isn't any "me" time when that happens too - when the younger two are napping. Luckily it is almost summer, which means most of our activities are drawing to a close. Hopefully by fall AJU6 won't fall asleep int he car if we leave before noon...

4. Finding time to work out is getting harder. Like I said above, getting AJU6 to nap if we have errands to run is almost impossible. That means on those days I can't do the work out normally. We have gone for a walk once, but it isn't easy to go with 3 kids. I wish they made a "jogging" stroller with a jump seat I think. AJU7 isn't terribly happy in a carrier (except hip carry), so I need a "seat" for three kids most of the time...

First Real Step to Homeschooling

I made the first big step in our decision to homeschool yesterday - I ordered curriculum for AJU5 for kindergarten. I plan on starting VERY slowly once it arrives. That way we can do 1-2 lessons a week to get used to a more formal school life and still get kindergarten done by next May.

So, why did we decide to homeschool? My husband was set on it before we got married. I wasn't so sure. I had a great public school experience, and he had a so-so one (he homeschooled for high school). He had seen some things happening in education that I hadn't seen as much, partly because we grew up in two different states. The first year we lived here (and were married) I substitute taught in the local middle schools and high schools. By the end of that experience, I had decided that I didn't want to send my kids to those schools. There were so many things kids get exposed to (mostly from other students whose parents don't have the same values and expectations as us), and I didn't want my kids to be put through that. I still thought private schools would be a great option. Then, as I was teaching at the community college, I saw more and more that even the private schools aren't a great option. First is the price. My salary wouldn't cover the cost of 2 kids in many of these schools. Second is the fact that even the private schools have some of the same peer "teaching" that I didn't want. Third, I saw more and more the options of homeschooling in our area. There are co-ops, athletic teams, bands, and field trips. There is a graduation ceremony each year as well. So, by the time AJU5 was born, I had pretty much agreed that homeschooling was our best option.

Now on to what we are going to use. There are a number of good homeschooling curriculums out there. And you don't even have to use a curriculum if you don't want to. But, since I work part-time from home, having some things already decided for me was a nice option. Also, I had seen already in AJU5 that workbooks tend to work with her. Printed pages from the computer aren't as enticing. So, a little over a year ago I went searching for preschool curriculums. That is when I "stumbled" onto Horizon from Alpha Omega Publishing. They have a great preschool curriculum, but I decided we didn't need one. AJU5 had already mastered many parts of it, so the price tag on it made it not a great buy. Instead, we have been using the workbooks you can get from big box stores to work on writing letters, counting, and other basic skills. But, while I was looking at the PK material, I looked at the K material as well. I like that Horizon has math and reading/phonics as its two main subjects. It actually doesn't have science or history/social studies. But, that was a plus for me. I want to do more of a unit study for those (since we will have 3 kids in 3 grades before too long). With a unit study, all of the kids could learn the same big concepts from experiments, field trips, and literature. I could then expect different levels of learning from there. I looked at some other curriculums, like ABeka, Bob Jones, and single subject ones like Hooked on Phonics and Math U See, but I didn't love how the material was presented. Some were very watered down. others were designed more for a private school setting. I wanted something rigorous but still involved me in some of the teaching. Horizon seemed to have that. Their material goes on sale (as to most of the other companies) in April, so when I saw 20% off and free shipping, I went ahead and ordered the K phonics and reading, math, and health. Next year, if we like it, we will order the same "subjects" in first grade as well as the PK material for AJU6. AJU6 seems to be more "average" in terms of what he knows, and he likes to be like his sister. So, by the time he is 3-4 yo, I bet he will want to sit at the table with her when she is learning.

Hopefully everything will go smoothly. Technically AJU5 wouldn't start K here until the next year (August 2013), so if it takes us more than 1 year to complete K, it isn't the end of the world at all. I like that I won't have any pressure for sure.

Icky

That is the best word to describe our house right now. It started on Saturday with AJU6 throwing up 5 times. Sunday was "clear" but we also took it really easy. Yesterday morning AJU5 woke up not feeling well, and she started puking around 6am. I think she puked 5-6 times, and luckily she has been "clear" since about noon yesterday. But, she still has a fun cough and isn't herself yet. I started felling bad yesterday afternoon. It got really bad around 5pm just as my husband got home from work (huge blessing that it stayed away until then!). I was "stuck" in bed basically all night. By around 11pm, I was a little better, able to go downstairs and get my cell phone and my own drink without thinking I was going to die along the way. Since then I just have been mending from getting very dehydrated.
My husband started getting sick around 2am. He has been stuck in bed almost all day. He was supposed to leave on a work trip this morning, but that is on hold. He did get out of bed around noon, but then he overdid it and ended up back in bed.
AJU7 started throwing up this morning. She threw up once in her bed and then once as we went downstairs. Since then I think she has thrown up 4-5 times. Most of the time I only notice because I either see it or feel it. She doesn't complain unless it comes out her nose (and she can't breathe well). That means she is attached to me right now so I know if she gets sick again.
AJU6 has also had some bad diapers last night and today. He seems to be "acting" like AJU5 did two years ago when the stomach bug last hit our house. She would puke one day, have bad diapers the next, etc. It last almost a week with her, although AJU6 seems to have done all the puking in one day.
I just hope we are done with it after today. I have done more laundry and carpet cleaning the last few days then I do in some months. I am tired of all of that house work for sure!

So New Routines

I am finally getting more sleep at night. AJU7 still isn't a great sleeper - waking 2-4 times a night - but I don't expect any different since her siblings were that way. But, what has made a huge difference the past few weeks is getting AJU5 to stay in her bed and not come to our room unless she sees a light on. The past two mornings, she has opened their door numerous times between 5:30 and 6:15 only to go back to sleep. I have also heard her in the night open it, but she isn't coming to our bed at least. AJU7 will sleep until about 6:15 or 6:30, and AJU6 will sleep past 6:00 if he doesn't hear us, so it is a lot better than the 5:15 they were trying to do. Weekdays are harder though. My husband is up around 4:30 to work out. He then leaves for work by 5:45. It is fine if AJU5 wakes while he is not in the shower or actually leaving the house. But, if she wakes at like 5:35, then I have to get up with her. Also, if she wakes when he is in the shower, I might have to get up.

I am also working out most afternoons while AJU6 (and normally AJU7) are napping. I am using the Kinect Your Shape 2012, and I am trying to get in 30-45 minutes at least a day. I started over a month ago, and I can tell I am in better shape. Unfortunately the weight isn't coming off, but at least I am in better shape! Maybe soon the weight will come off (12 lbs still to go). I guess that is one big positive of AJU7 not really eating solids yet (she spits them back out 99.9% of the time) - I am still her primary food source and hence burning more calories that way.

I am also having to be more diligent with cleaning up, as AJU7 is mobile. She isn't really crawling, but she can inchworm all around the house. She can almost make it up the step from the living room to the kitchen even. It won't be long until we really have to sort through the toys and hide the choking hazards...

Teething - Ugh!

AJU7 is teething. She is crying a ton more than normal. It is a lot harder to lay her down and keep her asleep. And she isn't sleeping as long.

Add a little guy (AJU6) getting over a bug (I think he is better now), and it is "fun" around here. AJU6 is SUPER clingy and wants me to play with him the whole time.

So, I have a clingy AJU7 when she is tired, a clingy AJU6, and an AJU5 who still wants attention. I guess that is why our house is a mess... and I am stressed... But I know it could be a lot worse. The younger two just went down for naps, so now I can get the laundry another step towards done. And hopefully I can get a workout in too...

Keeping Me On My Toes

AJU7 has decided to change things up a little recently. First, about a week ago, she decided she didn't want to sleep on my arm all night long (she starts in her bed, but she sleeps with me after she wakes the first time). She will let out a single cry, I slide her off my arm, and she is "good" for at least a few hours. I like having my arm back anyways, so it isn't a huge deal. It is just something new to get used to.

Yesterday she decided to scream like crazy when she was tired. Walking around with her in my arms slightly calmed her, but she didn't' want to fall asleep. In a moment of desperation, I just laid her in her bed. And guess what - she went right to sleep once I gave her her lovey and wrapped her in her blanket. She did this every time yesterday too. I of course like this as well because it means getting her to sleep is VERY easy. It gives me about 15 minutes back each time.

Finally, last week she decided she was just too big to be in the sling while shopping. I have been wearing her a lot more than I ever wore her siblings. With 3 kids, there just isn't room for a car seat in the shopping cart! Plus, she always woke up when I was getting the kids out of the car anyways, so the only times I would leave her in the car seat where when it was raining/snowing (which is rare around here - maybe twice in almost 6 months she has stayed in her car seat for shopping trips with all three kids). After having her fight me all the way around Costco, I let her sit int he shopping cart while we go our "Costco juice" (berry smoothie) and "ice cream" (frozen yogurt) on our way out. She was instantly happy! So, yesterday when we went to Costco, I just immediately put her in the seat with AJU5 next to her (and AJU6 in the back). She was content the whole trip. She wasn't as content last week when we went to Wal-Mart - only making it half way around the store without wanting to be held - though. I think it depends on how awake she is. So, I will continue to bring the sling with us for a few more weeks, knowing I may or may not use it.

How AJU7 Is Different

1. AJU7 does not use a pacifier (other than me). She has only taken it once, and that was a battle my MIL tried when we were running out of options to get her to settle.
2. AJU7 prefers to be rocked to sleep. The other two would scream when we tried at this age.
3. AJU7 still hasn't figured out how to go from her belly to her back. Her siblings did this by 3mo. But, she is a master at going from her back to her belly these days (something AJU5 didn't do until after 7mo).
4. Dirty diapers. I used to think it was weird when people said their kids didn't poop every day as EBF babies. AJU5 and AJU6 always went at least once a day. But, AJU7 has gone 3 days before between unloading. There are definite pros to this!

I think those are the big 4 things that are making AJU7 different. She is definitely keeping me on my toes when I thought I had most things figured out.

When Sleep Gets Complicated

It started out well. AJU7 fell asleep after 9pm, and we headed to bed at 10.
There were 2 in a king bed - lots of room!
Sometimes between midnight and 2am, AJU7 joined us in bed. Still, there was a ton of room. And I didn't have to worry about anyone pushing me out of the bed!
Then 2:45 came. AJU5 "couldn't sleep" in her own bed. Luckily she went to my husband's side of the bed to climb in. So, I still had almost half the bed for AJU7 and myself - still content.
A few minutes pass, and AJU6 enters our room and climbs up on my side of the bed. I knew that wasn't going to work so well. I would be squished and having to protect AJU7 too much. So, I took her to the guest bed room. Two in a queen bed and three in a king bed still seemed fine to me, especially since my "bed partner" is very small.
But, it wasn't meant to be. About 15 minutes later, AJU7 is nursing (after being stirred enough during the move that she couldn't get back to a deep sleep) and AJU6 is crying for mommy. I "yell" that I am stuck with AJU7 eating, so Daddy brings him to me. He (AJU6) proceeds to smack me in the head 2-3 times getting snuggled in. Luckily he does fall asleep, and so do the rest of us.
Daddy wakes up at 4;30am, and I hear him exercise (Kinect Your Shape) and then get ready for work. AJU5 is getting the king bed all to herself, but I am afraid to move AJU7 for fear of waking her (and waking AJU6). So, we stay in the queen bed.
AJU6 wakes at 6:15 - ready for a cup of milk and a show. I oblige and then return to the queen bed to sleep. AJU5 wakes at 7:00, upset that her show isn't on (she was promised the pick this morning). Luckily I was able to calm her with a promise that her choice would be "up" next (and a cup of milk).
I snuggle into the king bed alone (AJU7 is asleep in the queen alone) until AJU7 wakes around 7:30...

How to make an 1100 mile drive in 1 day with 3 kids

The inlaws live about 1100 miles away. And we make this trip in one day - about 17 hours in the car. The main motivation for a 1 day trip is to avoid the hotel stay - the kids never sleep well the first night in a new location, so we wouldn't be too rested for the second day on the road anyways. Plus, we can save about $100 each way - always a nice bonus.

On the way there, we leave as early as we can. The latest we will leave and try to make it all of the way from here is 6am. It is actually easier to wake the kids up and then go because they sleep more in the car that way. I make sure AJU5 has gone potty and AJU6 and 7 have clean diapers before we leave. I double diaper AJU6 actual - with a size 3 diaper under a size 4 diaper - to ensure no leaks. I also feed AJU7, so she is ready to fall back asleep as soon as we get going.

We pack the car as much as we can the night before - leaving only the last few things for the morning (drinks, electronics, and the overnight bag normally). The "big" kids each have a bag of toys and books as well as a pillow and blanket, and these are in the back seat of our SUV with them. We often put one suit case (duffle bag) under each child so toys aren't lost as easily on the floor too. AJU7 and I are in the bucket seats in the middle. Around us is the diaper bag, our entertainment (a couple of toys for her, my cell phone, and my touch pad), the snack, and the drinks. My husband gets to play "taxi driver" sitting up front alone. He has control of the GPS and his phone (with our mp3 selection).

We normally stop 3-4 hours in for a potty run/diaper change. Then we drive another 2-3 hours. We stop them for gas and food (as well as the potty and diaper changes). This last trip we just got Wendy's chicken nuggets and fries, but we have stopped at Arby's before too and gotten sandwiches and salads. But, when we stop and eat in a restaurant, it takes FOREVER!!! The kids won't sit still, so it is a challenge to get them to eat enough. So, the car seems to be working better (even if the food isn't as good). From there, we make 2 more stops, about 6 hours apart, for gas, potty, and diapers. AJU7 also gets to nurse as much as she wants during these times, so the stops are about 20-30 minutes. The big kids roam around the vehicle and stretch there legs while they wait too.

As for snacks - we have granola bars (Fiber Plus, Zone, and Fruit and Nut), trail mix (fruit and nut), crackers, gold fish, pretzels, apple chips, and peanut M&Ms. The non-bar stacks are served in small ziplocks, which helps with portion control and mess containment. For drinks, the adults each have two 27oz water bottles. The big kids each have 1 milk cup, 1 water cup, and 2-4 very weak juice cups (about 1oz juice to 5oz water) - all sippy cups. We used to bring more milk, but AJU5 and AJU6 each have thrown up in the car in the past, and "sour" milk is NASTY coming back up. So, we keep the milk for after lunch, and it seems to work great.

On the way home, we normally don't leave until 8-9am. That means we get home a lot later, which can be a little tough. But, we also tend to stay up later at the in-laws, so it isn't TOO bad. We normally have to stop about 3 hours after we leave for gas (and potty, etc). Then we stop 6 hours later and get food with the gas. Then, we can often make it with only one more stop - 6 hours later. Occasionally we will stop for potty once in there too, but it depends on how tired we are and how much everyone drinks.

So, how does AJU7 survive only getting to nurse every 6 hours? She doesn't. The first trip I pumped and gave her bottles. It worked great. Then we went to my parents, and she refused the bottle. She would occasionally take about 1oz, but there was a ton of screaming. On the way tot he inlaws, I pumped some, but she still would only take about 1oz. The first two segments were fine - only 3 hours apart. The middle segment she drank a little more from the bottle - maybe 2oz, so it wasn't terrible either. And, that also coincided with her long nap, which I think was a life-saver. But, the last segment I had to be a little naughty. I unbuckled and leaved over so she could nurse while we were driving. We were on the interstate in an area with very few exits (and no wide shoulders). It was dark and the road was pretty empty, so I went for it. And it worked great. She ate and then went right to sleep. I had to do this more often on the way home, which was a little harder - simply because it wasn't at night once or twice. But, it always seemed to happen that she would be hungry where pulling over to let her out wasn't easy/safe. If we had a bench int he middle row, I probably could have just leaned over instead of unbuckling...

So, that is how we "roll." I am not looking forward to AJU6 potty training. I highly doubt he will be able to go 6 hours between stops like his sister (she has NO problem holding it that long we found out over a year ago). That means our "plans" may change. But, AJU7 won't be nursing as much, so it might be a wash...