When AJU1 and I got married, we were certain we would have two kids - no more, no less. We still said we were going to have only two kids when AJU5 was born. Then we got pregnant with AJU6. It changes to maybe we will have three, especially if AJU6 would have been a girl. Now I don't know what I want.
While skiing last week, I wanted to be done. I want to be able to ski as a family and not worry about child care. I know that is 3-4 years down the road, if we are done, but that seems reasonable. If we have another kid, then it will be 5-8 years before we can ski as a family like my sister will be able to next year.
But then I am reminded of:
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalms 127:3-5
It was brought up in our Bible class this week. The teacher didn't say we all have to have 19 kids like the Duggars. He even said that some families are meant to only have one child for a variety of reasons. But, he also said that children are a blessing and we should want that blessing.
Right now AJU1 and I are at the point that we want to prevent a pregnancy for at least another year, so AJU6 and a possible third child will be over two years apart. At that point, I think we will just see what happens. All three of our children where in God's hands - we never tried to get pregnant nor really prevented the pregnancies. He chose to take Junior #2 home before we got to meet him/her here on earth. But if we have a third, are we going to be done? AJU1 and I are both one of four children. Although we have no issues with the family size we grew up in, we have always said we don't want to have that size family ourselves. But, will our minds change if/when we get pregnant again?
I know others have struggled with this decision as well. It is not an easy one. Sometimes the decision is made for you medically. Other times it is not...
4 comments:
Just for fun...when we were discussing marriage and family, I said I wanted 4-5 kids, and my husband said he wanted 2-3. I was sure he would be a good Dad, and would change his mind after experiencing the joy of a child. He was certain I would change my mind and want less, after actually going through childbirth. :)
I want 4, I think. Or 2. I am so excited about how many things we can already do as a family, and I want to be able to work more. BUT I love babies and its so fun to watch Harry and Jack together. So, yeah. No clue.
Before the medical issues, we'd discussed having 2 or 3. Once I saw what pregnancy was like, I would have been ok with 2. At first I was crushed that I could only have one, but I've made peace with it now for many of the same reasons you might want to stop at 2. I am enjoying getting bits of my freedom back as he gets older, I must admit! We try to look at the bright side, like the fact that we can sock more money away for Dean's education that we'd be able to if he had a sibling. I just trust that the Lord knows what He's doing and gave me just one for a reason. (He's a REALLY good one!!)
I got nothing! I change my mind every day.
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