Yesterday Facebook recommend a group to me - something like "If you are offended by my breastfeeding, put a blanket over your head." I decided to look and see what the group was all about and saw some of the pictures. Now, in no way do I think these photos where pornographic. But, some of them were more than I would want to see!
A few were fine - you could see some skin and the baby eating, but it wasn't obvious it was the breast. Yeah, if you look close enough, you will figure it out, but it is just some normal skin and the baby's face. These I am fine with. Others were more zoomed in. Some women didn't have a shirt on at all. After seeing one or two like that, I was done with the group.
I have breastfed in public - I do it most weeks at church actually. But, I try to be as discrete as possible. I cover up with a blanket as best as possible. I try to not make a scene nor show much skin. Once or twice with AJU5 I had to feed her without a blanket. But, I found a quiet spot to do it where very few people would see.
Yes, breastfeeding is natural. But, so is going to the bathroom! Personally, I feel that if you are going to breastfeed in public you should take steps to not be completely out there. If you have issues with covering up, then find a place out of traffic. Don't just "pop it out" where the whole world will see it.
Some proponents of bfing in public say that it is a bonding time. Well, I bond best when I can give the person I am bonding to my full attention. That means I am not shopping or walking around the store. Yes, there are times you have to multi-task, but do you have to do that in public? I don't think so...
Thoughts?
5 comments:
I agree. I always used a nursing shawl (The Hooter Hider! That's really what it's called!) when I had to BF in public. I had a friend who used to bring her baby to work and literally take her entire shirt off. She'd be sitting in the office, typing away, in just her half-open nursing bra. It was a bit much for that environment. I think there's definitely something to be said for having a bit of modesty and courtesy for those around you.
I am a member of that group but only because I liked the name. I think their messaging is very amateur and that the group could have handled all the FB attention a bit more deftly. I am not offended by any of the pictures, though, because I don't really care about bf'ing in public. I never used blankets or shawls b/c my kids didn't like them. I just don't care about offending people b/c I think it absolutely ridiculous that they should be offended. But, like you, I preferred to nurse at home or someplace quiet, especially with Jack-- it was hard to maintain any sort of discretion feeding him in public if I had to chase a toddler or if Harry threw a screamy tantrum in his stroller. Sometimes, though, you gotta do what you gotta do! (which has included feeding the baby while meeting with my dissertation advisor and at a staff meeting and at a car dealership-- not awesome experiences for sure.)
I totally enjoyed your post and laughed out loud about the bonding and then read the last 2 paragraphs to my husband. You have great thoughts. I saw that group on FB and thought their title was really rude. I completely support breastfeeding...anywhere...as the best means for feeding our babies. Something that good does not need a hostile stance for public awareness. Nothing positive is earned by making the issue a battleground.
Personally, I prefer breastfeeding at home, and took bottles of pumped milk in public for ease and convenience (made my errands much quicker to complete). My first son wanted to eat 24 hours a day, so he forced me to learn to nurse publicly out of necessity. I used a blanket, because I prefer modesty. I actually prefer if all women chose more modesty, whether breastfeeding or not.
I never breastfed in public (I nursed Nathan for 17 months) ... it was mostly because I was embarrassed. Also, I guess I got used to going somepalce quiet to do it because many of the people around me were so unsupportive.
I do remember this one time that Joe and I were eating at a restaurant and this woman was nursing her toddler (I would have guessed her between 18-24 months) and it totally made me uncomfortable. I don't know if I'd have the same reaction now.
Sarah - The point I was trying to make was that if the mom is showing just a little bit of decency, then the "other" side should not be offended. But, some women make it so obvious that it can be kind of offensive. Jen L.'s example is a great one - a coworker than totally exposed herself in a communal office. If the other person had kept her shirt on, it wouldn't have been offensive in my opinion.
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