Last night I realized at times I am a helicopter parent. And I am not a huge fan of it.
I am totally not a helicopter parent when we are at home or with close friends. But I am when we are not in our norm. Cubbies is one of those places - and even then it is only in certain situations.
I don't helicopter during play time. I do little to no helicoptering during craft. But, other times I am right there with her making sure she "performs" as she should. Some of it is justified - she is younger than all the others by up to 2+ years (Cubbies is for Pre-K, so a few just turned 5, but most are 3 or 4). She is shy and hasn't had a lot of "social school" time. So, if I am not there, she may not do as asked. If I am not there for a few parts of the night (story, opening, etc), she will scream and cry. So, those are times I need to be there still. Luckily, she is getting used to the way things work, and she is starting to not fight me. But, if they loose her attention, she melts...
Then there is book time when they need to say their verses. I think she is warming up to the leader a little, but he was gone last night. And she is one of two kids using a different Bible version that the rest, so I don't want them to confuse her/think she isn't saying it right. So, I helicopter. My goal, now that I have realized it, is to back away a little and see what happens. I want to wait until she doesn't respond to them to step in and help. Hopefully that will work next week...
And I think some of it is that I want to show people what she can do. She is doing the "extra credit" mainly because she is good at memorizing verses. She still has the one memorized back in August at the front of her brain (and will tell it to us all the time). So, having her recite three "old" verses isn't a problem. The second half of the extra credit is sometimes a challenge because it is putting the week's lesson into action/making it tangible. Some concepts are harder for her, but I think without even trying, she would get less than she does with our sometimes-half-completed attempts.
So, there you go. That is how Cubbies is going. The end...
2 comments:
I might be crazy, but I don't think you can be a helicopter parent when your children are that little. This reminds me of a conversation that I was privy to at work the other day. I work in a heavily male environment, so the parenting is very much from a working dad perspective. These gentlemen kept talking about how as soon as their kids were just a few months old, they would hand them to other people, so they wouldn't get too attached. They went on with examples of this behavior until the kids were in grade school. Then, because they felt the need to give me their wisdom, they told me that this is why father's don't cry on the first day of kindergarten.
I think that's their perspective, but it's not how I choose to parent. I don't think there's anything wrong "hovering" around your 2 year old. :)
I don't think you have anything to be concerned about. You are there to show her the boundaries to participate in something you feel is worthy. She is young, but she is grasping the routine quickly. Neither of you has to prove any level of performance, as you are both amazing! To be honest, some of the other children could really benefit from having such a dedicated parent.
FYI: I utilized AWANA as a "controlled" environment to assess how my children handle themselves in social situations.
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